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The Transformation of
Marlene Neufeld
I have experienced transformation at the
deepest level, where it feels like every cell of my being has been
altered, and metamorphosized. I am almost unrecognizable to my old
self. Who is this person? I ask myself with wonder and
curiosity.
Let me tell you about what I used to be
like and how Ive changed. In the past, I would agree to do
things to be nice, give more of me than I wanted to give and then
resent it and people would wonder what happened. I took what was
happening around me personally and felt like a victim much of the
time. Then I would do or say something that later I would regret. I
used to experience blame and judgment as a background noise wherever I
went. I thought these unconscious negative patterns were ingrained in
me. I thought that was just the way I was.
Now, I can more easily identify what
things are within my control and what are not. Letting go of trying to
control the uncontrollable has meant that I sleep better; I spend less
time angry at myself or others. I have lost weight and my friends tell
me I look younger and softer.
The biggest measurable change is in my
relationship with my husband. We were in a rut and werent having
much fun together. We frequently used to begin weekends with an
argument and spend most of the weekend sulking. Now we experience a
flow of appreciation. Our sexual relationship used to be routine and
goal-oriented. Now it is creative and juicy. There used to be lots of
things I thought I couldnt say to him. Now I dont even
remember what they were. I used to be constantly afraid that he would
leave me. Now I can laugh at that thought.
The biggest internal shift I am aware of
is that I used to spend a lot of time in self-criticism. I now love
and accept myself; and am having fun, even when I make mistakes. I
have expanded in my ability to receive appreciation, both to
appreciate myself, as well as believe it when it comes from others. My
ability to love myself has meant that I have much more love to give
others.
So now, I move through my day making
choices, experiencing vitality and feeling really good.
Would you like to do the same? Contact us
and well explore with you. |
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The Transformation of
Bob Neufeld
In the last few years, I have transformed
how I experience life. I used to perceive myself as a righteous but
persecuted person, being victimized by others. When conflict arose
with my partner Marlene, I through it was her fault. I thought I was
not being acknowledged for all I did, and that I was never getting
enough of the good things in life (especially sex). I was loyal but
unhappy; I saw few choices and lots of no-way-out-of-this
thinking. I remember coming home from work and looking at the sky; it
always seemed cloudy and gray.
My experience now is that I have space in
which to see things from a different point of view. What has changed
dramatically is the speed at which I shift out of old patterns. In the
past, I would have gotten stuck with anger and blame, beaten myself up
by blaming myself, transferred it to blaming Marlene and stayed there
for a few days. Now I notice whats happening in my body, the
energy of that pattern and can choose to shift into wondering what I
can learn right now. I am seeing Marlene as my ally rather than my
enemy. I am seeing the whole situation as an opportunity rather than a
blockage.
I feel less heavy, more lightness in my
body. I react less to things that used to trigger me. I am able to
know my feelings and express them in friendly ways. I feel
appreciation and love. I am focusing more on my creativity, where my
genius is showing up; in my cooking, my gardening, my childrens
books (especially my illustrating), my Dance leading, and my
connection to the natural world. I am happier, I am laughing more, I
am having more fun.
Ive learned that I can say no,
which has been big for me. I had a big impulse to be agreeable and
often found myself having agreed to things I didnt really want
to do. I am learning to only make agreements that I really want to
make. The result is Im not burdened with things hanging over me
that I dont really want to do but feel obligated to do.
Every day there is more space in my life
for things that I love; space to be outdoors, cuddling in bed with my
partner, treating myself to small pleasures, having spontaneous,
playful sex with Marlene. The overall result is more ease and flow in
my life.
There is an ever expanding bubble of love
around me. If you want to experience this same bubble of love, contact
us. |
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